So how does Judy recommend handling bullying when moving half way across the country is not an option?

This is really a great question, Gil. Obviously, we don't know the details of how or if the situation was dealt with during the time Gabby states that she was victimized. (In fact, I am not certain if the alleged bullying was the only reason she left). Moving half way across the country is not a likely or possible alternative for most people! So what can be done?

Kids who are targets or victims of bullying should report what is happening to a trusted adult. (Unfortunately, many are hesitant to do so). Parents should alert and report to teachers, coaches, or adults in charge what their kids are experiencing. In many instances, these behaviors are not on the radar screens of supervising adults. Fortunately, I am seeing that more and more school officials and recreational personnel are listening to and responding to such concerns rather than dismissing them. (Yet, we still have a long way to go in this area). If in fact, it is determined that bullying is occurring, steps to intervene and steps to prevent it should be taken. Bullying awareness discussions, including acceptance of differences and empathy training, among kids is a powerful 1st step. Consequences for such behaviors should also be discussed. There is no question that kids need to feel physically and emotionally safe in school or in other activities. If they are not feeling safe, the adults need to know!

I'm sorry, might have missed it, Gabby is African American, good for her! African Americans seem to be making progress, according to the way they write about her.

Judy, I lost my commom sense some 10 years ago, thanks for the great insight.

Mr.McCloud, was there something you wanted to contribute?
I didn't think so.

Bully

@Conrad, @McCloud, let's try to keep these comment discussions constructive. There's no value in personal attacks, especially on a blog re: bullying. We appreciate your involvement and engagement with the site, and look forward to insightful comments, concerns and questions moving forward.

@John, thanks! We like to keep things moving in a constructive direction around here...

When I was a young child, I was much, much smaller than my peers and was often mistaken for being at least 5 years younger than I was. Many of my classmates took this opportunity to take advantage of me by bullying me. Parents need to talk with their children about this issue and explain the importance of treating their fellow classmates with respect as we have done with our own children. We even taught them to go and stand by other kids that are picked on. When my youngest child was being bullied in elementary school. We informed the teacher about what was occurring, and nothing was done and it continued. Finally, our son came home one day crying and upset that this "bully" would not stop picking on him and the other children. I was so upset, that I told him that the next time he hits you, you hit him back and shout at him to leave you alone. He said. "But mom, you told us not to hit", and I said well forget about that, you need to defend yourself! The next day when the bully approached him and tried to hit him, my son punched him in the chest and shouted at him to never hit him again. My son told me that this bully was shocked and ran to get on the school bus. That evening, when I spoke to my son about his day, he was so elated and it seemed as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

When he went to school the next day, the bully ran up to him and asked if they could be friends. That bully never bullied him or the other kids again and they got along just fine. I still feel bad that we had to handle it that way, but it worked!